someone get that fucking seahorse.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
