know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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