that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
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