Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
