got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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