i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
