whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
