I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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