Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
