She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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