I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize