wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Enjoy the penises
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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