You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize