does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
