You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We need to get me chipped asap
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
