the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
