well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
