You're a womanizer and a bitch.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
