She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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