Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize