worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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