the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
