talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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