____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
