Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
