As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
