just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
