i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
