There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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