Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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