Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
