Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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