The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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