Got a toothbrush?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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