I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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