ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
