I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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