Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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