D3 body, D1 cock
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Bring me that man meat
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize