ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize