You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
