Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
did you just send me my own nude
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
