Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
