I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
