but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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