Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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