Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
