Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize