butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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