Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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