took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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