she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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