Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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