My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
