I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize