So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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