lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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