I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
