You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
