And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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