I bet he comes in French.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
