i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
