yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
