He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
they're like a gay fantastic four
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
