Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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